After this fucked-up introduction, let's get back to reality. You idealize a woman because you see her as the one for you: the woman of your dreams. She is unique and perfect in your eyes, but it's not actually her fault. You are the one who interprets it that way. Worse still, many times these feelings are not reciprocated. Most men who idealize a woman are not even in a relationship with her, they just dream about her, observing her from afar. Idealizing someone is dangerous for one's own person, because it means cutting oneself off from all other opportunities. One stops moving forward for a utopian desire for perfection.
The same woman is most certainly not going to be with you all your life. Nowadays, long lasting relationships are becoming increasingly rare, and will be even rarer in the future as individualism increases. How many guys consider her to be "the one" at the beginning of the relationship and two years after the break-up laugh about it? How many divorced men were convinced they had found the woman of their lives? Do you know many young people who are living the perfect love, and whose relationship has lasted for years?
LET'S RATIONALIZE LOVE
Love isn't real, it's felt. You can't touch it, you can't see it. It's just a set of reactions in our brain that make us temporarily happy, stupid and irrational. The very minute you focus your efforts on a woman, you compromise your interests for the one you see as "different from others". It's a risky gamble on the future, one that will disappoint you in most cases, just for a handful of temporary "I feel good".Am I pessimistic and cynical about love? Without a doubt. I think that there are objectively other things in life that are far more rewarding than sacrificing yourself for something you can't control: the other person's emotions. It is better to use your resources (time, energy, etc.) on something that depends on your work and not on chance. Appreciate the moments spent with women, but do not idealize them. Live in the present moment, as they do.
FIND PURPOSE IN LIFE
The problem with having neither ambitions nor plans is that the slightest attention obtained takes on delirious proportions. If you're a regular guy with a classic office life and few sexual opportunities, as soon as a slightly desirable woman shows an ounce of interest, she will become your priority, because you have nothing else. Do you think a footballer is going to put his career on hold to think about a girl? No, because he knows it's his career that allows him to have women, not the other way around. Losing a girl doesn't affect him because there are others. Giving up his career means losing everything: his passion, and women.That's what the online dating community is learning: to have an interesting life so that women will find us interesting. The message is good, except that they spend their time learning techniques to simulate the fact that they are. Might as well devote that energy to actually becoming one. What if you found a real passion, something that interests you more than women? A passion is something that makes us get up in the morning, obsesses us, keeps us awake. A woman is not a goal, it's the reward for the success of your projects.
STEADY FUCKING
Not getting sex for a long time makes you go through withdrawal, and the first woman who shows up is going to turn into the "woman of my life". Not because she is, but because someone will finally take an interest in you. A girl can much more easily do without sex than a man, even if she appreciates it just as much (see more: nature having given a greater enjoyment to women). We, when we don't have sex, we feel like a nobody, an unwanted guy, a loser.Don't give me excuses like I'm too ugly blah blah blah blah, most guys who don't get laid just don't hit on women. I've got a mate (the famous mate) who's objectively not great and who goes round the club at closing time and asks 30 girls to go home with him. You know what? You know what? He takes 29 rakes and gets laid anyway. Do a number and tackle, it's the only way to get results. Not getting laid turns almost any man into a pussy who's addicted to any girl he wants.
THE PROBLEM OF THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL
Most men bang average or ugly girls, and are not used to beautiful girls. In fact, they lose all their means when it comes to interacting with them. Even if a guy initially had his chances, he quickly passes for a loser, either by being too shy (by devaluing himself internally) or by becoming an arrogant jerk (you know, that super nice friend who tries to belittle the others as soon as there's a hottie in the band). Kissing is fine, but try not to aim only at crates and make the effort to pick up the best ones even if it means risking eating a rake. First of all, the potential rejection won't be as painful as if she were an ugly one. Second, only fucking ugly girls can lead you to the same result: being a dog for every girl you meet.Another problem exists for people in a couple: how can you forget your ex when the next one is less beautiful? Many liars will say that their ex-girlfriend had "something extra", that there was a feeling, without ever mentioning her superior beauty. But if the replacement is twice as good looking, strangely enough, the memory adapts and the version of the story changes: the old chick wasn't so good after all. That's why it's important to fuck as many beautiful girls as possible after a breakup.
KEEP COUPLED
A lot of guys in couples are afraid that their girlfriend will leave them out of jealousy and will therefore do everything they can to prove to her that she is "the one". It's the worst mistake they can make. As soon as a woman feels you're taken for granted, she loses her desire. I've rarely seen a girl leave a man out of jealousy. Subtly make her understand that she's not your only source of potential intimacy. Keep seeing your friends, talk, look into their eyes, make other women laugh, and ignore your girlfriend a little. Show her that you can have fun without her. I can guarantee that if your girlfriend feels you have other options, the evening sex session will magically be of great intensity.Showing that you can have an escape route isn't being an asshole, it's being rational. Besides, the majority of women have much more than a plan B (all the sissies licking his feet 24 hours a day), so why deprive yourself of it and not rebalance the power? Believe me, a woman always has several types of guys on hand, depending on her needs (the virgin friend to act as an emotional buffer and inflate her ego, the unstable good-looking guy to get laid, the love pigeon to give her a helping hand with nothing in return, etc.).
IS IT NECESSARY TO CHEAT?
This paragraph is optional. Sleeping with other women can actually save you from falling into a love delusion. I'm not telling you to "love" other women, I'm just telling you to get laid. One shot: a girl who lives far from you, a whore, whatever. Just pick someone who couldn't shoot your relationship, not her best friend or sister.Actually, it all depends on your character. I think understanding the article is enough for most of you, but some of you will still absolutely need other physical contact to stop sanctifying your loved one. It's up to you.
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